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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑

People who knock white chocolate because “It isn’t real chocolate,” I ask you:

Are hamburgers made of real ham?

Be careful. Your argument is a slippery slope.

@UnFitz2 finally, an explanation for why I knock hamburgers!

@UnFitz2 respectfully, i am clogging my ears and yelling on the top of lungs. i can't be questioned about my hatred for white chocolate. i can't simply be wrong!

@elfing @UnFitz2
I found peace with it by just renaming it “sweetened cocoa butter” in my head. It’s actually pretty good when you think of it that way: a vegetable fat, not a chocolate. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to eat a beefburger with a glass of cowmilk.

@UnFitz2 hamburgers are not named after their contents, so this is not a particularly effective gotcha

@UnFitz2

Hamburgers are named for Hamburg, Germany.

White chocolate is named for what's left when they extract the flavor from the chocolate and sell you what's left.

@UnFitz2
I like white chocolate and I don't care who knows it! I hate white hot chocolate though.

@UnFitz2 there’s very little garter in these kindergarteners.

@UnFitz2 i like the way you think…i went down “there’s no such thing as authentic vegan kimchi” rabbit hole of a post the other day…

@UnFitz2 hey I'm one of the real ones! I don't like white chocolate because it's way too freaking sweet! Not because there's less child exploitation and unsustainable farming practices going into it.

@UnFitz2 Agreed, but I will still stand here with a Martini in hand and shout at the vodka drinkers: “WORDS MEAN THINGS.” ;)

@UnFitz2 Are vodka martinis made of real vodk—wait, I'll come in again.

@UnFitz2 there's just no way they all get made in Hamburg either, no chance.

@UnFitz2 Strictly speaking, and in the correct language, hamburgers are make from the people of Hamburg, minced.

@UnFitz2
Foreigner visiting New York being introduced to hot dogs:
"In my country we don't eat that part of the dog."

@UnFitz2
"In what way is it not real chocolate?"
"Real chocolate doesn't remind me of sweetened mayonnaise."

@UnFitz2
But, butter makes everything better. White chocolate is just the cocoa butter squeezed outa the bean, thereby making it butter chocolate.
When the avocado toast folks figure it out, breakfast will never be the same.