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Pulled from an uncredited facebook post with an image of the text:

Quickest player death

D&D story time.

I was running the first session of a new campaign. Everyone starting at level 1. We had an EIf Druid, a Half Elf ranger, a Dragonborn Sorcerer, and a Tiefling Rouge. As the party was going through introductions:

5'2 90 Ib. Tiefling “I don't like to be touched.”

6'3 250 Ib. Dragonborn “I pat her on the head.”

Tiefling “I bite his hand”

Ok so you bite his hand... roll to hit

Rolls NAT20.

Roll 1d4 damage...?

Rolls 4 doubles to 8

Dragonborn sorcerer only has 8 hp.

Ok so you bite his hand off and he is now bleeding out.

No one has any healing pots or magic. All level 1 characters.

Dragonborn rolls 3 on death save.

Next save Nat 1.

Dragonborn is dead.

Tiefling “I said I don't like to be touched.”