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THE MOOO-SING LINK! Recent reports from around the United States have suggested that the consumption of #sausages has been linked to increased instances of mad cow disease among school children.

Studies conducted by a couple nutritionists during their lunch break have shown a correlation between eating large amounts of sausages and exhibiting symptoms such as involuntary dancing, compulsive mooing, and hallucinations involving cows and pigs.

On Tuesday, the FDA decided to implement a temporary national ban on sausage sales until further research can be done. Those currently in possession of sausages have been advised to toss them in the bin.