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Ello sweet and lovely Friendos

Ugh... This is me venting a bit, so I'll add a CW, as it may mean that this Toot will have be babbling a bit too long winded...

Here it goes...

Lately, I've been struggling with my anxiety and feelings of being inadequate and annoying.

I feel like people are tired of my long babbling toots. I feel like they're tired of my silly replies. I know I'm not the best with commenting, but I've been trying... But it just feels like people avoid me and my silly emotions.

And I know this is probably a combination of my hormones, a depression, a disturbance of good sleep and decent routine, that's all making me feel this way.

And this is in no way aimed at anyone in particular, this is me venting my stupid thoughts... But these thoughts do affect how I am online, and I want to be honest about my struggles.

I don't want to bore anyone. I want to be supportive. Caring. Understanding. And I guess, sometimes I may try too hard and overdo it. Or I may write the wrong things. Or maybe people expect me to comment and then I don't, and maybe they're disappointed in me...

I'm fighting all these emotions. All these silly ideas. All these worries. And I guess I'm making things worse for myself. I'm taking things the wrong way because I can't filter them properly. Because I am just a mess... Maybe also because I'm trying too hard..?

So...

Sorry if I may have written a reply that caused you discomfort. I'm sorry if I have been too needy, too wanting, too much of it all...

I wish I could understand my feelings better. I wish I could understand social bits better. But I've never been too good with that. I could say it's maybe just my AuDHD making me weird... Maybe it's just all me all the way...

Ugh...

I may lurk today. Or maybe I'll try to overcompensate and Toot way too much...

Again, this is my brain struggling with making sense of my silly emotions. This is not meant at anyone in a negative way. But it is affecting me, so I thought I just should share it. Even though it's a bit scary to admit that I'm struggling so much at the moment. Gotta love the anxiety...

Fankoos for reading all this way. I really appreciate it.

Catch you later, I guess...